Monday, June 23, 2008

"I'll Try to Just Solve the Reds.."

Six Reasons Why This is so F'n Funny (No, pointing out why something is funny does not make it less funny, it just pisses off people without analytical minds..):

1. The "Catch It!" adline from the ESPN commercials. Because you can't advertise sports without a sports metaphor/pun. Also, scary question: what if they don't catch it? Watch out, Butterhands, that's not just some pigskin, that's the May 1976 match up between the Bengals and the Packers, featuring the Bengals' secret weapon halfback, Donald "Burroughs Adding Machine" Raymond.

2. Why is Brian Dennehy a) on heroin or b) hanging out Robert Evans? I'm pretty sure Dennehy spent the 70s guest starring in poorly rated cop shows, not hanging out with the coked-out producer of the Godfather.

3. Where the hell does he come up with the Rodney Allen Rippy reference? Rippy was a Gary Coleman-esque child actor who did ads for Jack in the Box in the 70s, as well as starring in the short lived Harlem Globetrotters saturday morning show, "Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine." Kudos to Patton for not only picking a hilariously named 70s child actor, but for picking one so obscure that research about him will lead to the "Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine." YouTube Rippy and you will also find video of him admonishing Sally Fields for swearing at the Oscars. Icing on the cake, I tell you, icing on the cake...

4. I've just learned a "cigarette boat" is a sleek speed boat with a characteristic "v" shaped hull, known to reach up to 80 knots in calm waters and 25 knots in those crazy five to seven feet Caribbean waves. Boy, Mac, those Montego Bay waves are doozies, ain't they?

5. It's not so much the acts described as the celebrities involved. Tom Wopat, also known as Luke Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard. Gil Gerard, from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. The aforementioned Rodney Allen Rippy. There is no way these D-listers would be hanging out on Robert Evans' boat, but their names are so funny sounding it hardly matters.

6. The word "solar plexus."